by Stuart Pearson Wright

Stuart is an artist who lives in a castle ruin in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in England. After painting Prince Philip naked in 2003 he has been on the run and in hiding from MI5. His early life was plagued by an existential void due to his conception in the mid-1970s by anonymous donor insemination, until he managed to find his Father who then flew to Stuart’s house in a small aeroplane, landed in a nearby field and presented Stuart with some chocolates and champagne for his birthday.

Stuart once met former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown in J.K.Rowling’s kitchen whilst she was making him a salmon sandwich. The salmon was, perhaps surprisingly, from a tin. Stuart has two children, seven chickens and two sheep, two whippets, a cross-eyed cat and an ex- wife. New siblings emerge at irregular intervals.